COOPERATION AS A PROCESS WITHIN
Around the age of 30, I found myself in a PLACE OF IRRELEVANCE. My life had collapsed, and everything that I believed was normal turned out to be a product of instability, neglect, lack of self-control, or traumas passed on to the next generation — to me.
When I think about my childhood and growing up it feels cold, home does. It was a place that lacked safety, where I, as a child, had no voice, and the only thing I could do was obey.
But outside, it felt different. Most of the time, people did too. And I think that is why I knew there was more to life — that there is a kind of love that feels good and safe. That there are places full of laughter, where you are allowed to simply be yourself.
That led me on a journey of self-discovery. I quickly found that THERE IS SO MUCH PAIN ON THE WAY TO HAPPINESS.
Through therapy, I realized that the patterns that developed in my childhood shaped me into someone who suffered deeply. Trauma, social anxiety, and low self-esteem dictated the choices I made. It was all so ingrained that I believed this was the only way to live and what I deserved.
Life was not necessarily cruel at that point, but the decisions I made did not come from a place of self-love, self-care, nor putting myself first. That would have felt too greedy, too inappropriate. Self-sabotage ruled my life.
I needed to face the darkness, stop it from defining me and accept the past as a part of me. The determination to heal from pain and to understand the full spectrum of my emotions became my top priority. The cooperation with my inner self has begun.
I have cracked myself open so many times to dig deeper, to understand, and to find peace, so I could lead myself through a conscious relationship with who I am, rather than through old pain or disappointment in those who were meant to nurture and protect me when I was a child.
I knew that now I was my responsibility.
The fascination with the human mind and curiosity has driven me to explore and challenge myself - my thoughts and my actions. I have learned to recognize what is right for me, what makes me happy, and what was never mine to carry, but was passed on by those who never healed or matured emotionally.
I repeatedly disconnected and reconnected with my inner child, as at times it just felt too heavy to carry.
This project is a part of my process; it is about releasing the old and making space for the new.
Now I finally feel like I AM COMING HOME TO MYSELF, learning to stand still in my own softness, which up to this point feels like untouched and scary territory.
And no, I am not aiming for perfection, but for a peaceful, love-led, and happy life based on conscious choices and my best interest.
The cooperation within the self continues.
ON WOMEN
THE IDEA OF A WOMAN AS A FLOWER.
ONCE ON A VERY GOOD DAY, I SAID TO MYSELF IN POLISH: …I NAGLE CALA STAJE SIE KWIATEM… (…AND SUDDENLY, I , AS A WHOLE, BECOME A FLOWER). AND THAT WAS THE VERY FIRST IDEA BEHIND THIS PARTICULAR PROJECT.
TO SHOW A WOMAN, IN HER DIFFERENT STATES OF MIND THROUGH THE PICTURES OF FLOWERS.
WOMAN, JUST LIKE A FLOWER, IS PURE BEAUTY, COMPLEXITY, CONSTANTLY EVOLVING AND GROWING MATTER. AND DESPITE OF THE STAGES IN LIFE, THE HARD TIMES OR GREAT TIMES, THE EMOTIONAL STAGES I MEAN, WE HAVE THIS CORE IN US, THIS PURE BEAUTY, SOFTNESS AND DEEPNESS THAT COMES FROM WITHIN AND KEEPS US GROUNDED.
THIS IS AN ONGOING PROJECT.
RHYTHM OF LIVING NATURE
NATURE... ALWAYS IN MOVEMENT, ALWAYS CHANGING, FASCINATING AND COMPOUND. THAT IS WHAT SURROUNDS US.
NO STEADINESS, CONSTANT STATE OF MOTION, GROWTH. BUT STILL OUR EYES CAPTURE IT AS A PICTURE AND I BELIEVE IT DOES DESERVE BETTER.
SO WHY DONT WE JUST HAVE A CLOSER LOOK. FOLLOW THE MOVEMENT, BREATHE WITH IT AND SYNCHRONIZE OUR EXISTENCES?
REPETITIVENESS IN NATURE
THIS PROJECT WAS TO CHALLENGE CLOSE UP / MACRO PHOTOGRAHY AND IT WAS FUN! SIMPLY BECAUSE NATURE REPEATS ITSELF IN DIFFERENT SIZES AND COLORS. AND LETTING ITS COMPONENTS TO GO THROUGH NATURAL PROCESSES OF GROWTH AND DYING REVEALS HOW SIMILAR IT ALL REALLY IS IN THERMS OF SHAPES, STRUCTURES AND TEXTURES.
CONVERTING THE PHOTOGRAPHS INTO BLACK& WHITE GIVES THE SPACE TO IMAGINE WHATEVER CAN BE FAMILIAR TO THE VIEWER.
SINGLES
...BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A PROJECT.
BUT(!) SOMETIMES IT IS A STARTING POINT :)
